post

FB Status

All I ever hear is people complaining about kids ruining their meal at a restaurant or on their flight but nobody talks about the annoying adults doing the same shit when I go out. Those kids do grow up.

Like my fan page

Share This!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google Plus
  • Delicious
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
post

FB Status

I’m not trying to sound ungrateful because Dating Naked does show butts but then why blur out boobs??? #itsallnatural

Like my fan page

Share This!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google Plus
  • Delicious
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
post

FB Status

This kid in the toy store just sang “my penis is out”. I didn’t want to check.

Like my fan page

Share This!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google Plus
  • Delicious
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
post

Somebody put me in charge of 4th grade girls

I’m very uncomfortable with 4th grade girls touching me and I don’t know how to tell them to stop. They are leaning on me and trying to braid my arm hair. #phillytrip #chaperon

Like my fan page

Share This!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google Plus
  • Delicious
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
post

Happy Father’s Day To Me!

First and foremost, Happy Father’s Day to me. My daughters are very lucky to have me as their Dad, they have without a doubt won the Dad lottery. I’ll call BS on some of these “Best Dad in the World” posts, you know deep down you’re average at best but your wife/significant other/baby mama can’t really post that on FB. To all the yupster Park Slope Dads, I hope you choke on your Kale kabobs at the BBQ. Finally, a Happy Fathers Day to my Dad who taught me that it’s ok for a grown ass man to cry at Lifetime movies and how to decorate the fuck out of a holiday table. #TurkeyYam #MyGayTablescapeGameIsStrong

Like my fan page

IMG_6219

Share This!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google Plus
  • Delicious
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
post

FB Status

Stopped at the ice cream truck after school. They both chose sno cones.

Ava: Eden, if you drop that sno cone it will be too bad for you.

(Ava gets hers and it immediately falls on the ground.)

Today’s life lesson: Karma’s a bitch!
Sorry,_Snow_Cone

#mrmomlife

Like my fan page

Share This!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google Plus
  • Delicious
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email