All I ever hear is people complaining about kids ruining their meal at a restaurant or on their flight but nobody talks about the annoying adults doing the same shit when I go out. Those kids do grow up.
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Shooting hasn’t even started yet and I’m already tired, seriously messing with my nap game. #da #IllBeInMyTrailer
I’m not trying to sound ungrateful because Dating Naked does show butts but then why blur out boobs??? #itsallnatural
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Eden has been away for 4 days. That’s apparently the length of time it takes to forget you have a kid. #da
This kid in the toy store just sang “my penis is out”. I didn’t want to check.
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Will anyone believe me now that I’ll be stabbed in my sleep with a fork. #malachi #please help #redrum #da
I’m very uncomfortable with 4th grade girls touching me and I don’t know how to tell them to stop. They are leaning on me and trying to braid my arm hair. #phillytrip #chaperon
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Father’s Day tradition. My wife brings me up sausage and peppers from the street fair cause I hate fairs, crowds, heat and the outside. #da
First and foremost, Happy Father’s Day to me. My daughters are very lucky to have me as their Dad, they have without a doubt won the Dad lottery. I’ll call BS on some of these “Best Dad in the World” posts, you know deep down you’re average at best but your wife/significant other/baby mama can’t really post that on FB. To all the yupster Park Slope Dads, I hope you choke on your Kale kabobs at the BBQ. Finally, a Happy Fathers Day to my Dad who taught me that it’s ok for a grown ass man to cry at Lifetime movies and how to decorate the fuck out of a holiday table. #TurkeyYam #MyGayTablescapeGameIsStrong